Narcissistic--who wants to read this anyways?

I'm pretty sure that by design, blogs are a little narcissistic. I mean, what makes me think anyone is going to want to read what I have to say? I'm nobody special. Didn't become the Harvard Lawyer everyone thought I would be in school. Haven't become the first female president of the United States, as voted by my high school senior class. Didn't formally study abroad the way I was sure I would in college. I don't even have a real job right now. So what, exactly, makes me think that anyone would want to read what I write?

Truth is, I don't know. At 31, I have little to no idea what I want to do when I "grow-up". As a kid, being a "grown-up" meant different things at different stages. Mostly, it meant graduating from high school--which I did with absolutely no problem. And after high school, being a grown-up meant graduating from college. After college, it was when I'm done with my masters degree. And then, all of a sudden, there I was, 22 years old, done with high school, college, my masters, and I even had a job! But was I a "grown-up"? Nope, maybe after I get married. Check. Did that at 25.

For now, being a grown-up seems to have more to do with having kids and the idea that I'll be able to do something worth writing about after they are older. But if I wait for them, I'll have waited over half my life to just get it started. So, here I am. The narcissist in me believes that I have something worth while to share. It also believes that I am not alone in this satisfying, crazy, at times lonely, unpredictable journey. A longtime friend recently encouraged me to keep writing--even though it means putting my thoughts out there--on public display--to be ridiculed, read, loved and hated. Scary thoughts for most people--even me.

Maybe this blog is just the start of what's to be. Of who I'll be. There's still time for me to go to law school--probably isn't going to happen. Time to return to Germany, (next June), where every visit is truly a study abroad. Time even to run for president. Perhaps I'll run for office, just for fun when I turn 35? Would you vote for me? I'm a staunch narcissistic democrat, with rambling thoughts flailing from her fingers to the keyboard in little to no systematic order. And I'm counting on your vote.