Flaming Hypocrite

This blog has been edited. I'm impulsive much of the time. Perhaps if I thought my words through a little more, they would have a stronger and more positive outcome. It's all a learning experience--and I'm at the beginning.

I find myself at an interesting and confusing juncture in life. I grew up poor. At times, my mom didn't have two quarters to rub together, let alone any extra cash. It was my grandparents, particularly, my grandfather, who kept me well supplied with toys, extra-curricular activities, and spending cash as a teenager. Mom moved to Renton when I was seven and in the second grade. We lived in a very modest two-bedroom apartment in the Renton Highlands. My mom remained in that apartment for nearly 18 years. I struggle at times to make sense of the life I am currently living. The sheer luxuries I have now, that I never, ever, had growing up. I pinch myself, asking if I really live in this house? At my age? Is this real?

Renton takes a lot of heat from people who live outside our city limits--especially our schools. It pisses me off to listen to people who have zero connection to my hometown talk down about the schools. Best way to put me on the defensive, start belittling the school districts you're not apart of. My husband and I are proud graduates of Hazen and UW; Rodney works for Google, for crying out loud! BOTH my in-laws work for the Renton School District. My talented and loving mother-in-law has been a Renton teacher for over 30 years. The reason I became a teacher--the teachers I had growing up--all from Renton. I am proud of where we grew up, the tremendously special and successful friends we've made and largely still keep in touch with. Sure, it's not all Polly Anna. I have friends who hated being in Renton. Did poorly in school, blah, blah, blah. But could those bad experiences have happened in a more pretentious district too, say, Mercer Island? I'll get to that later.

I am a hypocrite. I don't live in Renton anymore. I don't get to visit as often as I would like, my mother's not even there any longer. But please, don't kid yourself, it is still very much my, "hometown." I live in Kirkland now. In a house that I would have been afraid to touch anything in as a child. I am living a life foreign to the 15 year old in me. AND, the real catcher, part of the reason we moved to Kirkland...the school district. Sigh. It's true, we moved here for three reasons: it's less than a mile to Rod's office, it's close to my mother and finally, the school district. It's no secrete that the Lake Washington School District is one of the best in the state. And I make no apologies for moving to a district I know has the resources to help produce successful students. BUT, and here's the kicker, I would never knowingly belittle another district for having less. Because as a student, and now as a teacher, I recognize it has so much more to do with a family's involvement, than a district's image. You want your kids to be successful? BE THERE FOR THEM. Period, end of story. Don't blame your lack of involvement, your kid's teachers, your kid's bad attitude...your kid's whatever, on the district. Because kids who are loved and supported at home--regardless of where that home is, will do well anywhere. I learned this lesson the hard way.

Five years into my teaching career and before I had my own children, I left my beloved job at Kentlake High School for a one year leave replacement contract teaching at Mercer Island High School. My initial hope was that it would turn into a longer contract and it shortened my commute time by 50 minutes--one way. Mercer Island. The Golden Rock. A mere miles from where I grew up, I found an unbelievably privileged community. A group of children who had everything at their finger tips. Unfathomable wealth, parental connections, luxury and privilege. I found fun-loving kids, snotty kids, smart kids, dumb kids, special education kids, fucked up on drugs kids. You name it, the Island provided it. But the most memorable thing I found teaching at MIHS, was that parents who played the largest, loudest role in their student's life, had the MOST successful kids. Hmmmm...reminds me a little of my life in good ol' Ren'in.

I credit my mother and grandparents for my successfulness in school and life. They were, no matter how poor, always there for me. My mother kept strict tabs on my life..."Who are you going with? Where are you going? Do I know their parents? Do I have a phone number? How late will you be gone? Where is your report card? Who's driving? How late will you be out? You need to be home by 11:59pm, sharp. No, so and so may not stay past 9pm." The litany of questions this woman asked made me believe that she believed in me and told me I mattered to her. These are the questions and answers that create a strong foundation for successful kids--no matter the district. No matter the money. No matter the prestige. No matter which side of Bellevue you live on. Parents make the difference. And so it will be in the Lake Washington School District, with my two kiddos...in the not so distant future.